Thursday, October 29, 2009

Tardy for the Party

Song: Tardy for the Party
Artist: Kim Zolciak
Album: Tardy for the Party

Bravo's "Real Housewives" series has been a guilty pleasure of mine for quite a while. I got into it from watching the "New York" girls, but have enjoyed the ridiculousness that's come from New Jersey, the original Orange County, and the just completed season two Atlanta. While the shows all share certain characteristics, what makes Atlanta stand out is the "new money" aspect that these girls live in, a constant search for glamour and opulence without any real taste. I equate it to being able to spend ridiculous amounts of money for the most perfect, beautiful rhinestone.

Some fancy themselves as designers, despite not making clothes, but what really typifies these Housewives of Atlanta is the blond-wig wearing, walking Barbie herself; Kim Zolciak. Kim fancies herself as a singer as she has a "God given talent" despite not being able to sing at all, or interest in the work that it takes to become an actual pop star. While she is in Atlanta and surrounded by the Southern hip-hop scene, she wants to do country. So of course she uses her connections (well her married boyfriends connections) to get with hot hip-hop producer Dallas Austin, who even lays it down for her. You've got to work bitch.

I'm already getting into way too much detail (and embarrassing myself in the process) but Kim HAS released a single, this time produced by new cast member Kandi Burress, who has had actual success writing and producing pop artists. Despite the fact that Kim can't sing, Kandi knows that she "can make anybody sound hot" and with that they concoct "Tardy for the Party," a phrase, admittedly, that Kim came up with. It is, as Kim so eloquently states, "catchy as hell," but what I find more interesting is that it is almost proud of it's own fabrication. Sure, we know that Britney, Ashley, and the Rihanna's of the biz don't really write their own stuff, and the auto-tune corrected vocals of popular teen actors that want to "get into music" has become a norm, none really own it. And I think because of this, despite being catchy as hell, will never let this song take off. I mean... can you imagine it coming on in the club? I don't think so.

And yet, it's an endearing silly little pop song that illustrates just how ridiculous and fake the Bravo's series is, and yet furthers it's craptastic charm. The song did make it to #3 on the dance charts ON ITUNES, and #88 overall but has not cracked Billboard. It is said that Kim is working on a full album, and according to Wikipedia has a second single called "S-E-Double-X-Y" coming out. I wish her luck... but the crash and burn breakdown might be fun to watch too.

Forgive me.

Tardy for the Party

As you can image... the internet has had a field day with this:

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